


The Failed Wingman Situation

by TinyCurlyFry



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Falling for your dumbass straight friend, Friends to Lovers, Lots of Swearing-Fuyuhiko, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24909169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyCurlyFry/pseuds/TinyCurlyFry
Summary: The way Kazuichi acts around Sonia drives Fuyuhiko up the wall, but he and Nagito do what they can to help their friend get the girl. Just, you know... respectfully. Avoiding whatever it is that Kazuichi does. But unfortunately for the ultimate yakuza, being a wingman doesn't quite go as he planned.
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito & Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko & Soda Kazuichi, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	1. A Bit of Practice

“Oh man, just look at her, she’s like an athletic warrior goddess.” Kazuichi all but whines, looking over the seat of the bleachers he lied behind, like he was trying to use the raised steel slab to hide himself.

On the track below, the girls of class 77-B make loops around Hope Peak’s track, running the mile per Nekomaru’s persistent pressing. Something about how working out as a group strengthened bonds. With the exception of Ibuki and Akane, most were averse to the idea, but it’s hard saying no to Nekomaru.

“Christ, Kazuichi,” Fuyuhiko groans, glaring down at where Kazuichi lied on the bleachers, “would you get off the ground and sit like a normal goddamn person? She’s going to see you staring at her like a fucking stalker.”

Instead of listening to him, Kazuichi cups his face in his hands, elbows propped on the ground. “When she’s rocking a hot bod like that how can I *not* stare?” He asks longingly.

Fuyuhiko and Nagito exchange an exhausted look. “Keep talking like that and I’ll blind you myself.” 

Nagito sighs, “Honestly, do you really expect to get Sonia’s attention acting like this? It’s pathetic.”

Kazuichi jumps onto his knees, and the bleachers clang loudly with the sudden movement. He looks up at them with tears in his eyes, “You guys don’t mean that! Because everyone else is beneath her, a commoner like me could totally have a shot!”

“Yeah, maybe if you were just a commoner, not some sick creep.”

“Let’s pretend for a moment you’re not a sick creep, Kazuichi.” Nagito chimes in, “Do you even know how to go about asking someone out?”

“W-what?! Of course I do!”

“That’s great! Then we can do a test run! That way you’ll have a better chance at not totally embarrassing yourself! Here, pretend Fuyuhiko is Sonia.”

Fuyuhiko immediately stiffens, “THE FUCK!? No! I’m not going to roleplay this shit!”

“You know if he doesn’t do this, the end result is going to be disastrous. But, if you want I could stand in as Sonia.”

Fuyuhiko crosses his arms with a huff, “N-no, I don’t trust you to be normal about it. Knowing you, you’d probably take it in some weird ass direction.”

Nagito smiles, “That’s fair. Why don’t you start, Kazuichi?”

“Oh- Ahh, okay.”

Kazuichi pulls himself up to sit cross legged, pink already coming to his face. He holds his legs nervously as he stares at Fuyuhiko in deep concentration. Fuyuhiko has to force himself from visibly cringing on Kazuichi’s behalf. Was he really going to take this so seriously? Fuck, of course he was...

Kazuichi gives a nod, apparently coming to some sort of internal decision and his eyes light up with determination. “Miss Sonia! Radiant angel of my life, would you be so kind as to accompany me, one who’s but a filthy peasant in your presence, to a dinner this Friday?”

Fuyuhiko looks helplessly at Nagito, “How the fuck am I supposed to react to that as Sonia? Do I slap him? She’d probably slap him.”

“I don’t think she’d slap him.”

Kazuichi’s shoulders slump, “Was it that bad?”

Nagito nods solemnly, “Very.”

Fuyuhiko crosses his arms, “Probably the worst you could have done.”

Kazuichi doubles over, face in hands against the metal bench, “Dammit! I can’t do this!”

Fuyuhiko gives a gentle ‘thwap’ to the back of his head, “Hey, come on. What do you think the point of doing this was? Don’t just immediately give up! Be a man!”

Nagito chuckles, “Yeah, It’d be more surprising if your first attempt wasn’t dreadful. Why don’t you give it another go?”

Kazuichi pulls himself up, still looking rather pouty.

Fuyuhiko sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Literally, just talk as you would with one of us or something, man. You’d probably have a better chance that way.”

Kazuichi nods, expression shifting back to one re-focused and determined, “Right. Gotcha.”

Nagito puts his hand forward, like a ref starting a race "Aaand, begin."

Nagito lifts his hand skyward.

Kazuichi brings his own hand up in greeting, a wide smile on his face, “Waddup bitch? Let’s grab some grub together!”

Fuyuhiko grabs Kazuichi's collar, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?”

“AAAAAH! SORRY!”

"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU THINK THAT'D BE ANY BETTER?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!!!"

“DO BETTER!”

“OKAY! OKAY!!”

He releases Kazuichi, roughly pushing him back down to his seat. Kazuichi whimpers, “It’s not like I’d dare call her that anyways! She’s too pure for such vulgar language.”

“I thought you were taking this seriously, dumbass!”

“I am!”

Nagito holds his chin in thought, “Hmmm, maybe he’d do better if you start off, Fuyuhiko. Perhaps he needs the scene set up for him.”

Fuyuhiko groans, “Fuck’n-... Seriously?”

“At this point, our other option is just to write him a script. But, I don’t think it’ll have to come to that! I believe in your ability to come up with your own words, Kazuichi!”

Fuyuhiko grumbles irritably under his breath, “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

His eye twitches as he straightens up, trying to recall however the fuck Sonia speaks. Something like, “Ah… Kazuichi. Can I help you with something?”

“Ah! Great job, Fuyuhiko!” Nagito jumps in.

“Fuck off! Interjecting with stupid comments doesn’t help ‘set the scene’.”

He gives a nervous laugh, “Ah, right. My bad.”

They turn back towards Kazuichi expectantly and, in Fuyuhiko’s case, a bit of dread. 

He clears his throat, “Miss Sonia, would you accompany me, though I am unworthy to be in your presence, for refreshments after school Friday?”

“Hmm.” Nagito hums thoughtfully.

“Drop the unworthy shit, and that was almost bearable.” Fuyuhiko says.

Kazuichi perks up a little, a hopeful glimmer in his eyes, “Do you think she’d say yes?”

Nagito looks at Fuyuhiko in amusement, “Well, you’re playing Sonia here. What do you say, was it good enough for her to accept?”

Fuyuhiko sputters, crossing his arms. “How the hell am I supposed to know!? There’s no fucking way I’d know what she’d say!”

Nagito chuckles and puts a hand on Fuyuhiko’s shoulder, who scowls at the touch. To Kazuichi, Nagito offers a smile, “As long as you don’t fall into the whole grovelling at her feet thing, I think you should go for it, Kazuichi.”

From down below Nekomaru bellows just as Hiyoko is the last to cross the line, practically walking. “ALRIGHT!!! THAT’S THE GIRLS’ MILE! GUYS JUMP TO IT! LET’S GO!”

Fuyuhiko stands up, “Well, you’ve got yourself a small time window. Better get to it.”

Kazuichi jumps to his feet, “W-wait, NOW!? Maybe I should do it afterwards, you know- when there isn’t so much of a rush.”

“I don’t know that that’d be ideal…” Nagito says.

“What do you mean?”

“Meaning you’re going to reek to high hell if you do it after running. She’d try to get away before you even get a word out.”

“COME ON, I wouldn’t stink THAT badly.”

“God, you’re literally pestering her constantly, why are you hesitating now? Just go!”

“Okay! Okay! I’m going!”

Kazuichi races down the bleachers, hopping from seat to seat thus causing a thunderous sound from the bleacher. Fuyuhiko gives Nagito a curious look as they make their own way down, using the stairs. “So, what do you think his chances are?”

“I’d give it a 50/50 chance. As a diplomatic royal figure, as is her stunning talent, she may simply agree out of politeness.”

Fuyuhiko watches Kazuichi in his peripheral as he and Nagito make their way down,“Tch. At least he’s getting some vital lessons from this. I swear if he doesn’t stop with the grovelling shit- .” 

Nagito shrugs, “We can only do what we can to try to pull him out of that unfortunate tendency.”

“I suppose you’re right…It’s fucking annoying, though.”

The two make their way to the track, all the while trying to subtly read the small exchange between Sonia and Kazuichi. After a brief moment, Sonia smiles at Kazuichi and gives a small wave before continuing on to sit at the bleachers. Kazuichi turns, frame rigid and his face flushed. His mouth is shifting in all sorts of ways, but impossible to read past the obvious fluster.

Fuyuhiko looks at Nagito, “Is that good? Bad?!”

Nagito is quiet for a moment, considering. “Good.”

“Kazuichi, get over here!” Nekomaru calls, taking his own position on the track.

That seems to snap Kazuichi out of his daze, and wide eyes lock onto where Fuyuhiko and Nagito stand. He gives a small, barely discernible nod.

“Holy shit, he actually pulled it off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I starting a new fic when I haven't been updating my other Danganronpa story? Because.  
> Listen, I can have semi-rarepair as treat.


	2. Ice Cream Dilemma

Soul Bros (Kazuichi, Nagito)

Kazuichi 8:37  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!  
I TOTALLY BLEW IT .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

Nagito 8:37  
Ah.  
What a shame, but I guess it was to be expected.

Fuyuhiko 8:37  
The hell you do?

Kazuichi 8:38  
NOTHING!!!  
WHAT THE HELL YOU GUYS >:’ (

Fuyuhiko 8:38  
You’re the one who said you blew it

Kazuichi 8:38  
But I really don’t know what I did!  
She just left as soon as she finished eating  
She was nice about it of course but even with her perfect manners I could tell!  
MISS SONIA HATES ME!!!

Fuyuhiko 8:39  
Seriously  
What did you do?!  
Stare and drool over her the whole time?!  
Fucking creep

Nagito 8:39  
Usually people maintain polite conversation over dinner.

Kazuichi 8:39  
I WAS POLITE!!!!  
THE POLITEST!!!

Fuyuhiko 8:39  
Like hell you were

Nagito 8:40  
I’m sure you were, Kazuichi!

Kazuichi 8:40  
Thanks bro  
At least someone believes me ;;u;;

Fuyuhiko 8:40  
That was sarcasm, dumbass

Kazuichi 8:41  
WHAT?!  
NAGITO???

Nagito 8:41  
haha, well...  
I believe you don’t think you did anything wrong!  
However, it is far more likely that the opposite is true : )

Kazuichi 8:42  
D ‘:<  
I come to you 2 in my time of NEED 

Fuyuhiko 8:42  
Sometimes the truth hurts man

Kazuichi 8:45  
You don’t think one bad date could ruin my chances with her do you?!?!

Fuyuhiko 8:45  
It could

Nagito 8:45  
…

Kazuichi 8:45  
maaaaaan

Nagito 8:45  
It wouldn’t hurt to ask if she’d be willing to hang out with you again.  
Not now though.

Fuyuhiko 8:46  
GOD DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE ASK HER NOW  
GIVE HER SPACE FOR LIKE  
A WEEK  
AT LEAST  
And even then it’s a long shot dude

Kazuichi 8:46  
: (  
Okay

Fuyuhiko 8:46  
God, I can fucking feel your puppy dog pout through the phone

Kazuichi 8:46  
I’M NOT POUTING

Kazuichi continues to mope about it Monday, practically bursting into tears when Sonia walks into the classroom that morning. Nagito and Fuyuhiko silently give him comforting pats on the back out of pity. It’s between classes that Nagito suggests grabbing ice cream from the shop down the road after school. Of course the idea is immediately accepted by the others, and the invitation ends up being extended to Hajime, Chiaki, and Peko too. They didn’t mention it was to cheer Kazuichi up after the travesty that was the attempted date, though Peko had, in truth, heard all about it from Fuyuhiko Friday night. And thus, the group of students had agreed to gather at the school gates after classes let out.

The first to arrive were Fuyuhiko and Peko, closely followed by Kazuichi. He already seems livelier than he had been this morning. A bright smile breaks across Kazuichi’s face as he waves at the other two. “Yo!”

Fuyuhiko chuckles in amusement, raising his own hand in greeting, “Look at that. The thought of getting ice cream really perked you up, huh?”

Kazuichi rubs the back of his neck, the wide smile still on his face “Well of course, dude! I’m always psyched for the opportunity to hang with you guys.”

Fuyuhiko snorts and punches Kazuichi's shoulder teasingly. “Sap.”

Fuyuhiko leans against the warm brick of the gate. Kazuichi does the same, tilting his head slightly towards Fuyuhiko, “Okay, maybe, but it’s true!”

The last three of the group come only moments after, and they start making their way down the road. The walk is warm and comfortable; the sun strong but not unbearably warm, and a gentle breeze comes and goes every so often. While conversation buzzes amongst the others Peko leans in towards Fuyuhiko at the back of the group. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather recommend somewhere else, young master?”

Fuyuhiko huffs and pushes his shoulders back, “No, it’s perfectly fine! Pushing for something else would just be weird...”

Peko still frowns, but he insists, “It’s fine.”

He keeps his hands shoved in his pockets the rest of the way there. 

At the outdoors shop, their orders soon cover the table in a rather impressive spread of food. Fuyuhiko’s eyes scan across the floats, sundaes, and shakes. It’s only when he’s looking back down at his own fries that he lets the scowl pull at the edges of his mouth. The salty side mocking him amidst all the other sweet and creamy desserts. He hides the scowl into the soda he’d gotten.

He listens idly as Chiaki shows Peko and Nagito some rpg game on her game boy advance. At one point, she offers the handheld to Peko, letting her try the game herself. Peko holds it gingerly in her hands, looking very unsure as to what to do with the small device, but Chiaki is leaning over her shoulder providing thorough step-by-step instructions. Eventually Fuyuhiko shifts his attention to his left, catching Hajime asking Kazuichi about his latest projects, “Oh man, just wait!” Kazuichi says between large spoonfuls of his float, “this thing’s going to clock at over 900 kilometers per hour!”

Fuyuhiko jumps in without much of a second’s thought, “Is something like that even usable at that point?”

Kazuichi turns in surprise towards Fuyuhiko, “Well it wouldn’t be street legal, but it‘s not like I’d ride it anyways.”

Hajime blinks at Kazuichi in disbelief, “You’re… making a ride without any intention to ride it at all?”

“Well yeah, I get motion sickness way too easy, dude.”

“But why?” Hajime asks.

“Cuz it’d be cool, duh!”

Fuyuhiko takes another long sip from the straw of his soda. “How would you even know how fast it can go if you never test drive it?”

“Oh, well you can use, like, conveyor belts, or test the limitations of each part through computerized calculations. You don’t actually have to bring the thing to the streets to test it. Though… I wonder if I could convince the school to give me what I need for some actual testing. You know: a full cable rig with a remote release system, in a nice large open area. That’d be so cool!” He practically shivers with excitement.

Fuyuhiko props his head up on the table, “Knowing Hope’s Peak, they’d give you just about anything you want for the practical exam.”

“AAHH, you think?!” Kazuichi is practically bouncing in his seat now, “Maybe I could do something even bigger for the practical! Who knows how many chances I’ll get to really go all out?!”

“You’re bound to get a lot of funding for stuff even after graduating.” Hajime says, “Graduating from Hope’s Peak essentially guarantees success. One of the main reasons for the practical exams is to gather interest from big shots and employers.”

Kazuichi tugs at his beanie consciously, “Ah. Well, duh… I knew that, but...”

In turning away from Hajime, Kazuichi’s eyes fall towards the table. At Fuyuhiko’s fries, to be specific. Kazuichi looks at the small container curiously, “Dude, is something wrong with your fries or something? You haven’t touched them at all!”

Fuyuhiko stiffens, “What? Of course they’re fine! They’re fries! You’d have to try really hard to fuck them up.”

He now has the eyes of the whole table on him, and he feels heat come to his face. “It’s not... too hard to cook something for too long. Or not long enough, really.” Hajime says hesitantly.

Nagito nods in agreement, “Some places just can’t seem to get the crisp right. Like limp noodles or small, hard pieces of wood!”

“Well they’re not either of those things! They’re just normal fries!” Fuyuhiko says defensively, “I just haven’t gotten around to eating them yet!” 

During his fuming, Kazuichi reaches over and snatches a few before Fuyuhiko can notice what he’s doing. He promptly pops them into his mouth. Fuyuhiko grabs Kazuichi’s sleeve. “HEY! HANDS ON YOUR OWN FOOD!” 

While he’s turned, however, Chiaki also reaches over and takes a fry for herself.

“Good.” Is all she says.

“Wh- DIE, ALL OF YOU!” Fuyuhiko shouts in exasperation, hearing the others trying to hide their laughter.

“Well if they’re good, it’d be a waste to let them go cold.” Hajime offers.

Fuyuhiko plucks a number of them from the container himself and bites into them indignantly. “I’m not fucking wasting them!” He says in irritation.

“We were just curious, bro!” Kazuichi says, but throws his hands up under Fuyuhiko’s glare. “H-Hey! Don’t look at me like that!!!” 

Kazuichi spins his float around, so that the bulk of it that remained is pointing towards Fuyuhiko. “Look, you can take a bit of mine in return.”

Fuyuhiko stops, staring at the ice cream extended towards him. It looks- really good, despite the fact that he knows he shouldn’t actually take any. He had good reason not to get ice cream himself, dammit. But he also knows the only other person at the table privy to said reason is Peko. He had hoped to avoid all this, yet, apparently only getting fries was already suspicious to his friends. 

So, against his better judgement, Fuyuhiko swipes the spoon from Kazuichi’s hand and shovels up a big chunk of the float. “H-Hey! So much?!” Kazuichi exclaims, watching helplessly as nearly half of what was left of his float disappears.

The fizz of the soda in the float hits him first, blending well into the creaminess of the ice cream. Cherries had been added into the ice cream as well, which was a fucking genius decision, really. It went perfectly well with the Cola. Fuyuhiko did his best to keep a blank face, not breaking eye contact with Kazuichi.

Chiaki casually takes a few more fries from Fuyuhiko. He swears she doesn’t even look up from her game as she does so. “Don’t be unfair.” She says.

Fuyuhiko sputters, “WHO’S BEING UNFAIR?!” He barks. “You all are the food thieves!”

He jolts as Kazuichi slaps his back, “Ah, we’re only teasing, bro! The rest of the fries are yours!”

“They were mine to begin with!” He snaps, but it doesn’t have as much venom to it as he’d intended it to.

Kazuichi only gives that large goofy grin of his in response, and he hears others at the table holding in laughter. Fuyuhiko folds his arms with a huff, holding the pose stubbornly for a few seconds before grabbing a few more of his fries. He catches Peko giving him a sympathetic look, and he quickly looks away. He didn’t need the pity, he’d be perfectly fine. They probably wouldn’t be there more than an hour or so anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sgfdklf I'd been sitting with 90% of this chapter done for far too long, sorry for the wait  
> I'm going to put the blame on Artfight distracting me


End file.
